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Editor's note: A version of this column appeared in the Oct. 17, 2021, edition of the paper.

The bold text on the large cardboard box warns me. “Heavy. Get help to lift.”

I look around. No clerks. I take a moment to adjust myself.

I gotta strong back. I’ve been lifting heavy things all my life. I can handle this. I maneuver a large orange flat carts next to the stack of boxes. I grab a corner of a box and give it a tug to shift it on top of the stack. Doesn’t move.

I look around. No clerks. I take a moment to adjust myself.

My cart has rolled across the aisle. I reposition it beside the pallet.

I try to make eye contact with a clerk strolling casually down the main corridor nibbling cashews; startled, he disappears like a zephyr down another aisle.

I grab the end of the box with both hands and give it another hard tug. Barely moves.

I recall when I was 8 and helped my uncle Earl, the anvil salesman, load samples into the trunk of his Studebaker. He gave me a nickel and rubbed my head saying, “Just like his old man. Strong back and a weak mind.”

With both hands I yank repeatedly at the corner of the box and eventually manage to pull it to where it extends over the edge of the stack. With my hands on my knees, I plan my next move.

Another clerk happens by, but she is wiry and fast and, like a convicted felon, avoids eye contact before disappearing into the appliance department. I think to run after her, but, in the parlance of our times, I am too pooped to pop. Beads of sweat spatter like mercury on the concrete floor. I straighten slowly and look around. Still no clerk. I take a moment to adjust myself.

Now comes the tricky part. I realize that once I pull the box beyond its balance point, I’ve got two options; bear its entire weight and place it on the flat cart or avoid most of the weight and deftly slide the box onto the cart.

Again, my cart has rolled across the aisle. I push it back into place against the pallet of shelving. I discern a new problem. To handle the box, I’ll have to stand on the cart.

I take a moment to adjust myself. I step onto the cart.

I invoke the memory of my most recent feat of strength -- twisting the hermetically sealed lid off a jar of dill pickles -- and with a mighty yank, I jerk the box off the top of the stack while simultaneously propelling the cart down the aisle. Your correspondent clings to his cart as it careers unchecked while pieces of steel shelving spill and clatter like a shipment of Paolo Soleri’s bells falling out the back of a UPS truck. A pallet of dog food arrests my progress and softens the impact. I hop off the cart and look around. No audience.

Slowly, I retrieve the scattered shelving parts and jam them into the empty box on the cart. I’d call it day expect for one detail.

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